Howard the Trox.

He began in his seat.

...and then he stood up.

He sat once again, arms gesturing frantically as if struggling to translate the world's fastest rap lyrics to the deaf, until he burst forth from his seat once again.

He stood, then he sat.
Stood.
Sat.

He stood once more, realized he was standing, and sat again.

This is Howard Troxler; Metro columnist for the St. Petersburg Times whose energy and enthusiasm of opinion can hardly keep him in Earth's orbit.

While his excitement can get anyone in the room revved up, the best part of his presence is that he follows his own advice: column writing isn't about just sitting around and being clever.

Well, not all the time, at least.

Troxler explained that the good columnist is always striving to present researched information to his or her readers. His "secret" for success, much like the concept of value in layout design, is that at least 50 percent of each piece should involve reading, interviewing, learning or just talking to people.

Again, Troxler doesn't just spout these pearls of wisdom to sound good--he follows his rules. He even keeps a spreadsheet on all of his pieces and which ones meet that 50 percent research quota.

Nerd alert, I know, but we'll forgive him for it.

Something else Troxler said put an old idea into new terms for me. He reminded us that people have limited time and because of that, they are looking for any reason to stop reading an article. I've spent at least the last seven minutes trying to figure out how to explain how that was an "aha!" moment for me, and I have come up with nothing. So, if you don't get it, that's fine.

What's most important is keeping this in mind when you are trying to convince someone of something that goes against their personal opinion.

"Nobody gets up in the morning and says, 'Today, I will abuse the public trust!'" Troxler said.

People have the capacity to make stupid decisions every day, and some, inevitably will. Especially our public figures, as we have seen all too often lately. But as a column writer, "if you say they're idiots, they're not gonna read."

So, Troxler says to convince people that what they have done is wrong, you have to bring them in; acknowledge their argument, their fear, their prejudice, their anything and then try to convince them.

Troxler's goal in all of this is for the subject to want to read it, and then actually feel bad, for the first time, when they've done something rather inane or unscrupulous and won't come to terms with it.

You've got to get in their head, see it from their perspective, even empathize with them, and then make them understand where everyone else is coming from.

If all else fails, "everyone should just be gay."

Damn, I loved that line.

This guy is an absolute trip and it was a great pleasure to have him in class.